Resources

queerlyattached

Resolving queer attachment trauma because you can’t create the life you want from self-abandonment.

Use your mic. 🎙️ It’s scary, whew do I get

Use your mic. 🎙️ It’s scary, whew do I get it! And yet, the ripple effect has been marvelous. Realizing you’re afraid just means in the next moment, you can choose courage. ********New podcast episode out tomorrow! #lgbtq #freespeech #podcast

What are you making it mean? Is that meaning servi

What are you making it mean? Is that meaning serving you? Get curious to get aligned. Remember the goal and desire for both of you, for this new relationship. “We both want to feel seen, heard and understood. We commit to learning what that means for ourselves first so we can recognize it.” Check out my podcast if we’re on the same frequency! #queerattachment #lgbtq #podcast #wlw #sapphic

Yes AND! #improv #innerchild #lgbtq #happybirthday

Yes AND! #improv #innerchild #lgbtq #happybirthday

Brilliant children doing amazing things. Look how

Brilliant children doing amazing things. Look how they handle this like professionals! #emotions #wecandohardthings #partner

✨ Listener Love Alert! ✨ “This was such an i

✨ Listener Love Alert! ✨
“This was such an impactful episode, I even sent it to two of my friends…” 🥹💜What was your favorite part of the new episode?

Episode 5 of Queerly Attached — “It’s Not Just a Knot” — dives into the emotional side of massage therapy with Estelle Strother of Metamorphosis Massage LLC. She shares her personal story of medical neglect due to identity as a bisexual woman. We chat about healing deeply tied to queer identity, safety, and the spaces we create for each other. 🌈👐

🎧 Tune in now to hear how massage becomes a practice of empowerment and release.
🔗 Link in bio

#queerattachment #lgbtqiaplus #MassageTherapy #QueerHealing #lmt

“Let them live!!!” Turns out my inner child br

“Let them live!!!” Turns out my inner child brought the stick in and my adult forgot. You ever just let your “kiddo” out to play? Notice how your energy shifts and how your body feels the next time you do! #innerchild #lgbtqiaplus #openmic #parenting

I did it. Last night. For the first time. Doing it

I did it. Last night. For the first time. Doing it again tonight because why not? I didn’t have any birthday plans 🤷🏻‍♀️ 😉

I’m learning to let go of perfection and just fl

I’m learning to let go of perfection and just fly. 6 months since I’ve hit “publish”. Perfectionism keeps you grounded and I’m cleared for takeoff! Episode 4 takes flight tomorrow. 🦋 #podcast #lgbtqiaplus #exmormon

I used to hate Pride. Not because I didn’t want

I used to hate Pride.

Not because I didn’t want to belong.
But because I had been taught that belonging meant rejecting myself.

Twenty years ago on this day,
I was getting ready to serve a Mormon mission. Entering the Missionary Training Center(MTC).
I had repented—over and over—for what they called my “same-sex attraction.”
I was proud to wear that missionary badge.
That badge meant I was Choosing The Right.
That I was safe. Redeemable. Worthy.

I entered the MTC in June.
While some people were marching in rainbows, I was learning Spanish, memorizing scriptures and praying away the gay.

When I first saw Pride parades,
I judged them.
Not because they were wrong,
but because I was still trying to stay in a story that never saw me fully. It wasn’t Pride I really hated, it was me.

But here’s what I know now:
Every person has their badge.
Their symbol of belonging.
Something they once clung to because it made them feel worthy, even if it came at the cost of authenticity.

Mine just happened to be religious.
Yours might have been approval. Perfectionism. Silence.

But Pride?
Pride is what happens when we pivot.
When we choose presence over performance.
When we stop wearing what made us feel worthy and start becoming who we actually are. Happy Pride month friends! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️#lgbtqiapride❤️💛💚💙💜 #queerhealing #selfacceptance

I’m proud to be part of the Education Tent at th

I’m proud to be part of the Education Tent at the 2025 KC PrideFest! 🌈✨
The Education Tent is a place to celebrate our brilliance and dig into the issues that matter most.
Catch my session 💬 Queer & Clear: Connecting Through Conflict—
If you’ve ever shut down mid-fight, spiraled after a text, or performed connection while feeling totally alone, this chat is for you.
We’re unpacking how to move from reactivity to realness, and how to reconnect with yourself first.
🎟 Grab your tickets to KC PrideFest now at bit.lyKCPrideFestTix

@kcpride1
🗓️ June 7th @ 5:30pm
📍 Education Tent, Theis Park, KC PrideFest #kcpridefest #bold&gold #50yearsstrong #queerattachment #pride #queerhealing

🌈 QueerMMunity is now a real thing! A space for

🌈 QueerMMunity is now a real thing!
A space for queer healing, joy, and nervous system restoration. Hope you’ll join us @a_slowstudio #queerhealing #kclocal #kcpride #lgbtqiaplus

🌈 Let’s chat attachment in the Wellness Tent

🌈 Let’s chat attachment in the Wellness Tent at KC PrideFest! 2nd year in the tent and can’t wait to see some of you again! KC Queers show out for this event!🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️
Curious about your attachment style? Want to learn how to stop spiraling in queer relationships and start showing up with confidence, clarity, and calm? That’s my jam and I get to share all about it at KC PrideFest!

✨ I’ll be at the Wellness Tent on June 7th from 12:00–4:30pm with info on our local QueerMMunity group @a_slowstudio I’ve got a free attachment quiz, Pride coloring pages and I won’t let you leave without a Queerly Attached sticker😊 Come out and support small businesses, holistic healers and wellness providers!

I am also excited to be presenting again in the Education Tent! This year I’m speaking about “Creating Queer Joy” June 7th at 5:30pm. I’ll save you a seat!
Come say hi & grab a sticker💬💖 @kcpride1

#KCpridefest #lgbtqiapride❤️💛💚💙💜 #bold&gold #50yearsstrong #SecureAttachment #KCEvents #queerjoy

You don’t set a boundary to control someone. You

You don’t set a boundary to control someone. You set it to stay connected to yourself.

A boundary says:
“This is what I need.
And this is what I’ll do to honor it.”

If they cross the line but you stay?
That’s not a boundary. That’s a wish at best. And wishes don’t keep you safe actions do.

Want to avoid another situationship?
Get clear on what you need before you fall for the potential.

Start with this question:
What’s one need I’ve abandoned in the past that I won’t abandon now?

Follow for more queer clarity in dating, conflict & communication!

#queerattachment #securelove #lgbtqia #situationship #boundaries #queerhealing #wlw

I didn’t grow up learning how to stay with mysel

I didn’t grow up learning how to stay with myself.
I learned how to hide. How to please. How to adapt.
How to be lovable, even if that meant being invisible.

Growing up gay in a high-demand religious system, I became an expert in shape-shifting—
not because I lacked identity,
but because I was trying to protect it.

But here’s what they don’t tell you:
Self-abandonment feels safe until it starts costing you your life.
Your voice. Your joy. Your truth.
Your timeline.

This post is for anyone who’s ever asked,
“Is it okay to be all of me?”
And still feared the cost.

If that’s you:
You’re not alone. And you don’t have to keep surviving.
You get to practice staying.

That’s what we’re doing in QueerMMUnity
at @a_slowstudio, twice a month,
queer joy, queer healing & play!

We don’t just talk about healing.
We practice it. Together.

Come join us. You belong here. @a_slowstudio

#lgbtqia #queerownedbusiness #queerhealing #kc #selfabandonment #selfacceptance

✨⭐️✨⭐️✨⭐️ New Interview Drop! I

✨⭐️✨⭐️✨⭐️
New Interview Drop!
I sat down with Engel @12minconvos several months ago for one of the most unique podcast formats I’ve experienced. Just 12 minutes to meet a total stranger and follow where the conversation leads.

It was early. Still had my morning voice. I had no idea what to expect.
But Engel’s voice? Unreal. Go listen just for that tone alone!

He asked, “What would you like to talk about?”
Easy: Queer joy.
Loved getting to share my take on it and vibe with someone who holds such intentional space.

Link in bio to listen! #Queerattachment #queerjoy #podcast #lesbian #perspective

If you’ve ever left a conversation feeling worse

If you’ve ever left a conversation feeling worse than when you started…
You’re not alone. And you’re not too sensitive.

You finally speak up:
Not to fight.
Not to control.
To connect. To be real. To be met.

“This hurt.”
“Something feels off.”
“I need something different.”

But instead of care, you get defensiveness, deflection, guilt trips and even silence.

And suddenly you’re the problem.
Now you’re apologizing…
For having feelings.
For needing clarity.
For saying anything at all.

Sound familiar?

This is how your nervous system learns:
Speaking up = danger
Honesty = rejection
Needs = too much

And silence starts to feel safer.

But let’s be clear:
You are not too much.
You are not the villain.
Your needs are not a threat.

You weren’t being dramatic. You were being honest. You were asking for connection. That’s it.

It’s not dramatic to want clarity.
It’s not manipulative to want care.
It’s not controlling to want accountability.

That’s called secure relating.

The truth?
You don’t need to shrink.
You need to be met.

By people who can handle the weight of real relationship:
Real emotions.
Real accountability.
Real maturity.

Secure love doesn’t punish honesty.
It welcomes it.

But when someone twists your vulnerability into an attack, deflects instead of listening, or makes you the problem for simply naming your needs: that’s not love. That’s a survival pattern.
Check out Queerly Attached podcast to hear more on secure relationships!
#queerattachment #secure #lgbtqiaplus #relationships #lesbiansofig #wlw

Being secure doesn’t mean you never spiral. It m

Being secure doesn’t mean you never spiral.
It means you’ve practiced your way through shame.

You’ve practiced letting your emotions rise and release without slapping a label on them or suppressing them.
You’ve practiced checking in with your body before jumping to conclusions.
You’ve practiced allowing, instead of immediately trying to “fix.”

Secure isn’t perfection, its presence.
And when you’re aligned with what you truly want, regulation becomes a response, not a performance.

Ready to practice secure?
Start with the my recent podcast interview on @alittlelessfearppdcast 🔗 link in bio. #queerattachment #lgbtqia #secure #podcast #queerhealing

You’re not broken. You’re the pattern. And whe

You’re not broken. You’re the pattern.
And when you see the pattern, you can become the solution.

We talk a lot about red flags, but not enough about the Attachment Styles that trained us to chase them.

Because chaos doesn’t just happen.
It’s familiar. It’s wired. It’s practiced.

So what if you practiced something NEW?

Start by learning your attachment style.
It’s not a personality test. It’s a map.
A map that shows you how pain shaped your patterns and how to repattern for peace.

Start untangling your story.
(link in bio)

#queerattachment #lgbtqia #lesbiansofig #secure #attachmentstyles

“The ripple effect is my favorite part.” That’s what I told my client this morning when they shared another win!
When healing hits deep, not just in you, but in your energy, your relationships, your presence…that’s integration.

This client has been “practicing secure” for 3 months. They have gone from fearing they were “messing everything up” to feeling grounded in this truth: their energy is part of something bigger. Collective. Connected. Queer.

That’s what happens when we stop surviving and start belonging. That’s secure attachment.

Ready to stop questioning your impact and start trusting your energy?
Let’s talk. The ripple begins with you. #queerattachment #secure #lgbtqia #neurodivergent #lesbiansofig

Shared on a podcast interview today that: standing

Shared on a podcast interview today that: standing in the brightest, hottest, closest star to us and feeling its warmth, even as it fades from view is my favorite thing to do lately! I try and hold no thought other than “feel the warmth”. It fills me with gratitude. Gratitude to be on my feet. Outside. On a walk through a parking lot. It reminds me of the long painful walks to the mailbox just down the dirt driveway in Georgia, now over a decade ago. Even years after that emergency back surgery. In a wheelchair. With a walker. With a cane. With a hand. With a limp and a hobble. With my head full of anger for the struggle.

Now, I walk with a smile. And not because I’m walking pain free or without a device. In fact, I walk now with two devices implanted in my actual back. Surgeries 3, 4 and 5 put them there. That’s not why I can walk and smile now. It’s because I’m walking free of the anger. And that is what allows me to now really notice the pain free moments and get outside and WALK. I never know for a fact that I’ll get to do it again tomorrow in the exact same way. There are times I cannot walk, even still.

My pain teaches me a new perspective on the value of health and wellness and pain and tolerance and acceptance. I am grateful for it and accept the companionship of grief that it often brings. I do not wish for it to be different anymore. And I sit with the sun and sometimes the moon more than I ever did before the arrival of this pain. ☀️🌕🌟🎁 #spinalcordinjury #caudaequinasyndrome #healing #lgbtqia #gratitude #chronicpain

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