Queerly Attached Quiz

Baggage? Yeah, we all got it.

Triggers? BOOM.

A lifetime of just trying to be chill while secretly spiraling? Uh huh.

Attachment wounds? Check.

Attachment Theory has entered the chat.

Attachment Theory explains how our earliest relationships shaped the way we connect (or struggle to connect) with others. It’s not just about romance—it affects friendships, family, and even the way we show up for ourselves.

But here’s the thing: Attachment Theory wasn’t created with queer folks in mind.

Most of the research assumes a cishet nuclear family, where gender roles, cultural expectations, and access to safety are vastly different from what many of us grew up with. Queer attachment is shaped not just by childhood bonds, but by societal rejection, coming out experiences, and the constant question of safety and belonging. That’s why queer attachment wounds can run deeper—but so can queer healing.

The way you learned to survive connection—that’s your attachment strategy. It’s not a diagnosis. It’s not a disorder. It’s just a pattern. And patterns can change when we bring them into the light.

This quiz will help you name your attachment style and understand how it shows up in your relationships—not just romantic ones, but the full queer survival kit: friendships, chosen family, situationships, U-haul disasters, and the “why am I obsessed with this straight person again?” moments.

Before you start: Answer from the perspective of your triggered self—not your “everything’s fine, I’m fine” self, but the version of you that’s staring at a text bubble waiting to pop. That’s where the real insight happens.

Let’s dive in!

Remember, attachment style is not a diagnosis or disorder.